Maybe

I am part of my own problem. I am upset and feeling like a prisoner in a no win situation. However, I think to help myself I have to be in for more suffering in the short term.

Those of you who need the people closest to you to be in a good mood, to be happy, to be stable, you might understand the chains this "need" creates.

My church steers away from practical application advice, but doesn't praying for wisdom often results in practical instructions for life?

Obviously I can and should continue to pray about my frustration, and part of that may be praying that I would not continue the cycle of hurting myself in the long-term by stopping any waves in this relationship in the short-term.

Maybe it's time other needs were a higher priority than the one I've been protecting of keeping everything super stable.

My Wish

When I was in elementary school I made a promise to my older sister, "I'll never ask for anything else again."

I might've even said that to God.

We'd received a bag of hand-me-downs, Jessica always got first pick, and in it was a ruffled jean skirt with intentional paint plattering.

Apparently the skirt was amazing to me.

Today, for a moment can I be a child again and make God a promise as an adult I can't keep, a promise that's useless.

"God, I'll never ask for anything else again."

I'd wish upon a thousand birthday cakes if I thought it would help.

Please God, you know how much I want this, and we're not talking about a damn piece of clothing.
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Brakes

Asked hubby to drive my car yesterday so he could get oil changed on his lunch break. So nice, he said yes.

He notices while driving it brakes respond funny. I had noticed nothing. So course he has em checked out. Apparently they need to be replaced. $800/$1k called for on that now.

I had figured out how to come up with that much, but it was for baby stuff!!! This has me praying. I will need to find solutions.
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Lost Money

A friend of mine found $200 at Bloomingdales in Cali. No ID, loose cash. SHE TURNED IT IN!!

I really do not know if I would have done that. But its really had me thinking the past couple days, and maybe changed my heart to where I could and would do that if it had been me.
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Party City

I recommend this place for candy.

I went there for Nick's bday to get some 'lil party favors and discovered the candy aisle.

Its definately not the cheapest you can buy candy, but everything is little single items, like individually wrapped sour patch kids, so I buy $5 worth of laffy taffy, SPK and whatnot for my snacking pleasure.
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Dear Saab

Was it your intention to have me remember your recent commercial due to the hideousness of the songstress?

Her voice is so grating and maybe... off key?

I don't think I wouldve bought a saab anyway, so I can't pull the "ill never buy a saab now" protest, but I am baffled by your marketing choice.
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Turmeric

So a google search turns up many more instances of turmeric than tumeric, so its gotta be right.

So many chefs use the opposite, but this is one case where listening to the majority didn't help my education!

I bet Martha Stewart always says it right.
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Gouda

Is my new favorite "nibbling" cheese. From holland, with goats milk is what I recently enjoyed.

I guess it doesn't have to be from Gouda to be called Gouda.

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Mayo

I recently realized that my homemade sandwiches and dressings were suffering due to light mayo. I had thought light versions tasted close enough, but now that I've switched to regular I know there is a clear difference.

Its worth the extra fat.
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Melissa D' Arabian

FYI, it's tumeric, not turmeric.
But I agree with you that Purple Cafe has good food.
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Anne Burrell

I like watching her. It shows that she has kitchen experience. I think it's interesting though that she doesn't (seem to) care if her skirts and shirts match.

She's into details so I am guessing she knows they don't quite match?
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Christians

Don't sell people a better life. Help them build one.
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The right kind of tough

I am turning 30 next month! And boy are there alot of positives about that! I've learned so much where relationships are concerned. One thing I realized is that there were people in my life who liked being around me because it made them feel better about themselves. But they dont really like me for me, or let me be me, they just want the me that works for them. I caused that problem by being willing to be too many things to too many people. I am working on being more authentic and consistently me, even if it ticks people--friends or family--off. I am not on earth to be bullied around by easily-offended people who dont challenge themselves and want people around them to support their carefully crafted, indulgent and boring kingdom.

Innocence

Sometimes I hate my innocence. Or, really I suppose what I hate is how it makes me feel vulnerable, and so what I really hate is being hurt by hurt people who run over your vulnerability.

Blogs

Yes, I have in fact 'streamlined' my blogging efforts. That 'A Word' blog does not exist. Although I think I may keep the address name and redirect it here.

Journaling

So several times I've made a resolution to 'become a journaler' which has not in fact been a resolution I have been good at keeping. Last year I made it to Feb 2nd, and at that an entry was not made every day. This year was even worse. Probably toward the end of January I just... stop....ped.... writing...

To much thinking required?